Silent Confessionals
by DarthAnimus
Summary: Bit by bit Aang pushes himself deeper into Zuko's life, and little by little Zuko opens up a bit more. Zukaang
1. Motive

Author's Notes: This story was originally a part of the Zukaang Week. The covered themes will be chapter titles.

**Silent Confessionals**

**Chapter 1**

**Motive**

"_Human beings have wants and desires which influence their behavior. Only unsatisfied needs influence behavior, satisfied needs do not." ~ Abraham Maslow's Need hierarchy theory_

Zuko's life followed a specific routine. Aang was certain of this even though he didn't spend as much time observing said routine as he would have liked to. They both had their duties to take care of, which kept them apart, sometimes for great lengths of time. But every time Aang got some time for himself, he tended to spend it in the Fire Nation, near his friend.

The routine Zuko had chosen for himself was one easily spotted by even the castle servants, and it brought forth different kinds of feelings. Many servants were unnerved by it, as the routine was one the former Fire Lord Ozai had been seen indulging himself in often during his reign as well.

No one knew why Ozai had made it a habit to sit by the pond in the palace garden, doing nothing but staring into the water. There was no soul in the entire castle who knew why his son was repeating this pattern, all the way to the smallest detail of wearing a deep scowl on his face while standing by the water's edge.

It was a rather shameful thing to admit, but not even Aang knew what it was that Zuko expected to see in the water, or if he was waiting for anything at all. Were it anything else about Zuko, Aang would have known the answer, but this was the one subject Aang had never dared to breach.

The reason for the hesitation was the expression on Zuko's face. To anyone else it was an angry one, but Aang recognized the yearning and pain for what it was.

What was it that both of the Fire Lords yearned for from here?

Aang walked over to Zuko and watched the pond with his friend for a few moments. A couple of turtleducks came by and made a few nips at the helm of Zuko's robes, but the firebender paid them no mind.

"Zuko." There was a chance of Zuko ignoring even him, but to Aang's relief the Fire Lord did turn his face to him with an expression of curiosity that held a hint of melancholy. Aang slid closer to the other, wanting to feel the body warmth that would assure him that the other was still alive. "Where did you go? You were miles away."

"It's not a matter of where but when." Zuko smiled gently, a tad bit secretively. "But I should apologise. I shouldn't have been neglecting you. Sorry."

"It's fine." Aang grabbed Zuko's arm. "Now come on, I'll take you on a flight with Appa."

The flying trip was a success in a lot of ways, Aang would muse afterwards. He especially liked the conclusion, the feeling of Zuko's lips pressed against his own for the first time.

It had been another tiring trip, and Aang was happy to be back in the Fire Nation, the place that had been slowly becoming like his second home. But his peaceful mood was shattered when he arrived in the palace garden, only to see no sign of Zuko.

It took the Avatar some time to find his friend, who was sitting on the windowsill of his bedroom. Aang was rather worried over this anomaly; Zuko would only break his routine for something dire.

"Zuko?" Aang called and Zuko jumped in surprise, gripping the windowsill to steady himself as he turned his head to look at Aang. "What are you doing here? You're usually in the garden at this time of the day."

A pause followed, as Zuko thought his answer over with a frown. Then the firebender turned around and patted the sill next to him. "Come sit with me and we'll talk."

Aang did as the other asked and waited in silence until Zuko spoke: "It was a substitute, for something I've wanted really badly for a while." Zuko looked over to Aang, and smiled tenderly. "Ever since your last visit I haven't felt any need to go back there." The older male's fingers brushed against Aang's cheek. "You're not what I want, but I think you're what I need."

"What was it that you wanted?" Aang grabbed the hand caressing his face and kissed the warm fingers. Zuko's smile widened and his eyes shone with affection.

"What everyone wants in this world."

"And that is?" Aang prompted curiously, but Zuko only laughed.

"You'll understand when you're older." The Fire Lord smirked in a teasing manner and Aang leaned back on his hands with a sigh. He was not going to play this game.

"I'll tell you some day." It was a small admission, but Aang knew that Zuko didn't make empty promises. So he gave Zuko a small smile, all the while silently thinking that he'd wait however long it took.

_**To be continued…**_

Author's Notes: The next chapter will have the events only brushed upon in this chapter more detailed, and will also be from Zuko's POV.


	2. Warmth

**Silent Confessionals**

**Chapter 2**

**Warmth**

Zuko walked to the palace garden, heading for the small pond like any other day. Aang would be coming to visit later that day, so he would have to keep this visit brief. The firebender came to a stop by the pond and watched the smooth surface. The small piece of bread in his hands crumbled easily and the scattering crumbs broke the surface into small ripples. Those ripples were the catalyst, the vision that helped the memories come easier. Memories of a gentle smile, a warm touch and the feeling of being loved.

"Zuko." The call wasn't loud, but it broke through the stasis that had fallen and the firebender turned his head to the direction of the person who had spoken. There was Aang, right beside him. How much time had passed while he had been reminiscing?

Aang moved closer and suddenly Zuko could have touched the other if he'd only had the courage. The Avatar was watching him curiously as he queried: "Where did you go? You were miles away."

"It's not a matter of where but when." Zuko gave the other a smile; he didn't really want to talk about it. "But I should apologise. I shouldn't have been neglecting you. Sorry." He really had not intended for Aang to find him like this.

"It's fine." Aang really didn't sound like he minded as he grabbed Zuko's arm. "Now come on, I'll take you on a flight with Appa."

"What are we doing here?" Zuko shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. "It's really cold."

'Cold' was an understatement. It was freezing. But, then again, that's what you get when you fly for hours towards the South Pole.

"I figured you needed a complete change of scenery." Aang stood up on top of Appa's head to rummage through his luggage. The Avatar returned with a quilt and wrapped it around the two of them. "Is this better?"

"Give me a few moments to warm up and then I'll answer." Zuko huddled closer to the other's body warmth. Aang moved his own body to accommodate the closeness, and Zuko jumped when he felt the other's arm come around his waist. In the end he accepted the contact and settled in place pressed against his friend. Slowly he felt his shivers subside.

"Yes, this is a lot better." Zuko turned to Aang, who smiled at the words. "But I still wonder why you didn't just bring us coats."

"Isn't this much cosier?" Aang's smile widened into a grin.

"Oh I see." Zuko chuckled in amusement. "You just wanted an excuse to cuddle, is that it?" He smirked at his companion, but his expression froze when he saw the way Aang's eyes averted his gaze. His lips turned upwards in a much gentler manner. Ah, so that's how it was. He turned his eyes away from Aang to focus on the wildlife playing around in the snow and water. He understood why Aang liked penguins so much; they were really like the airbender, carefree and playful creatures.

"You're sure you don't want help unpacking?" Zuko asked for the third time while Appa lowered himself within the palace boundaries.

"I'm sure." Aang nodded with a determined expression. "I'll take you all the way to your room and then I'll take Appa to the shelter myself."

Zuko hummed as Appa's gentle float came to a stop in front of a familiar window. He slid towards the windowsill while Aang's steady hands supported him. He waited until both of his feet were securely on the wood before speaking out: "This is a bit like a play. Really romantic."

Aang squawked and Zuko turned to the other to grin at the Avatar's blushing face.

"I really enjoyed today. Thank you." Zuko meant every word. With his uncle off fulfilling his dream in Ba Sing Se, Zuko often felt lonely in the palace. "A cuddle every now and then is good for my mental health."

"I-I'll make sure to cuddle you more often now." Aang's cheeks were still burning as he stuttered his answer and Zuko chuckled.

"I'll be looking forward to it." Zuko hesitated only for a brief moment before he reached towards that much loved face before him and cupped it between his hands. "A small token of my appreciation." The common play line was probably lost on Aang, who didn't care much for theatre arts, but it offered Zuko immense private amusement as the firebender leaned forward to brush a kiss on the other's lips.

When Zuko pulled back, he was amused when he saw that Aang's eyes were dazed. He pulled away from the Avatar, letting his hands trail the other's face before withdrawing. Aang's gaze became more focused and Zuko saw the yearning that mirrored his own.

"Good night, Aang." The words were soft, a whisper really, and Aang's blushed darkly before nodding.

"Yeah, good night."

Zuko smiled one more time before turning away from Aang and slipping into his room. He heard Appa's groans grow more distant as the animal flew away, and looked over to his reflection on the dresser's mirror. Indeed, his face was just as red as Aang's had been. His whole body was glowing with warmth, and it was a sensation he didn't want to relinquish.

_**To be continued…**_


	3. Duty

**Silent Confessionals**

**Chapter 3**

**Duty**

"Let's not go to the meeting today." The sudden statement from Zuko caused Aang to jump and turn to give his lover a surprised look.

"Where did that thought come from?" Aang frowned at the other. "We can't just skip it. It's our _duty_ to attend."

"When it comes between doing my duty and doing what I really want, I really think I should ditch my duty." Zuko scoffed as he stood up from his seat and walked around the table to Aang's side. "I really want to talk to you about something. It's much more important than some meeting about some stupid political ball that's still months away."

"Why can't you talk about it here?" Aang decided to try and reason with the other, only to have Zuko give him that one specific look that made him feel small and insignificant.

"I won't talk about it _here_." Zuko's tone was one of extreme distaste. "The mood's all wrong."

"Okay, let's have it your way." Aang stood up to face the older male. "Do you have any particular place in mind? Do we need Appa?"

"We're going nowhere far." Zuko started to lead the way out of the room, Aang following after him. "We're going to the garden."

Aang did not want to make presumptions, but he dared to wonder if perhaps Zuko wanted to talk about the strange behaviour that had preceded them getting together, had partially caused it.

"My mother used to sit here, every day, feeding the turtleducks." Zuko watched the garden pond with a tender expression and Aang started to understand. "I used to think being here would make me feel closer to her."

"It makes sense." Aang didn't realize he had blurted the words out before Zuko's gaze turned to him and he blushed with embarrassment. "The castle servants. They said that Ozai used to…stand here as well."

Zuko was silent for several moment, progressing the information. Aang tried to see any hints of disgust or pain at the mention of the man, but Zuko's expression was strangely unreadable.

The sudden hum startled Aang, who could not tell what emotion the sound indicated. Zuko's face held a bitter smile as the firebender spoke: "He was human too, then." Zuko turned to fully face Aang, expression growing serious. "When it all comes down to it, what every person really wants and needs is love." Zuko offered Aang his hands and the Avatar took them, basking in the warmth of the contact. "But thanks to you I don't have to chase ghosts to find it."

The two of them stood there, hand in hand, for a while longer. Finally Aang broke the silence. "You know, there's still time for us to be on time for the meeting."

"I have no intention of attending." Zuko's tone was assured and held conviction. "In remembrance of my mother, who disobeyed her duty the Fire Lord to save my life." The firebender's face reddened. "I guess that bit was a bit lost on you. I'll-"

"Tell me all about it some day." Aang smiled at the other. "We have all the time in the world."

"Thank you." Zuko looked down, hesitant. "You can go to that meeting, though. I won't hold you here on the account of my eccentric quirks."

"No, I think I'd rather stay here." Aang avoided Zuko's gaze when the other looked at him suddenly. "If you have nothing against it, I'd be _honoured_ to join you on your campaign against duties."

A moment passed, after which Zuko laughed brightly. The two benders shared a look, and Zuko smirked. "It's not really against duties, but yeah, I'd love to have you by my side."

_**To be continued…**_


End file.
